Ludwig's Terrible, NoGood, Very Bad Dinner Date
by Hikari Kaitou
Summary: Ludwig and Feliciano have just started dating and Ludwig decides to bring Feli home to meet his dad and brother. He just wants a nice meal with everyone but Gilbert is bent on embarrassing him in front of Feli with stories from Ludwig's childhood.


**A/N: **I've hit a bit of a bump in the final chapter of Catch You, Catch Me so I worked on this instead... Is there anyone here who might like to beta what I have for it so far (about 10 pages as of right now)? I feel like my pacing needs serious help and maybe the characterization could use some fixing up as well. If you volunteer, it would be nice if you could get it back to me fairly quickly, ideally by the end of next week. If anyone would be willing to help, I'd be very grateful!

Anyway, this is another kink meme deannon. The prompt was: "(Teen?)Human!AU. Germany and Italy have just started dating and Germany is bringing him home for the first time to meet the family (i.e. Prussia and Germania). They're having dinner together and everything is going fine... until they somehow get on the topic of Germany's childhood. Prussia decides it would be brilliant fun to embarrass the hell out of Germany by telling stories about Germany when he was a kid, with Germania stoically assisting/making corrections.

Prussia's plan to humiliate Germany in front of his date succeeds wonderfully. Germany is convinced that the date was a disaster and that Italy thinks he's a loser, but Italy surprises him by finding him even more adorable thanks to the stories."

* * *

Ludwig jumped up from the chair instantly when he heard the doorbell ring. That would be Feliciano. He was pleasantly surprised that his boyfriend was only forty-five minutes late instead of the expected hour and a half or more. In fact, he'd expected him to be late so he'd invited him to come early.

Ludwig straightened his tie nervously. This was it; the big unveiling. Ludwig was going to introduce Feliciano to the rest of his family for the first time tonight at dinner. He wasn't worried about whether Feliciano would be able to make a good impression on his older brother and father. Feliciano was a very cheerful and likeable boy; Ludwig was sure he'd have no trouble finding a place in his family members' hearts. The worrisome part was whether his brother would be able to behave himself.

Before he could reach the door to let Feliciano in, Gilbert jumped in front of him and pushed him out of the way. Gilbert secured his hair in a slicked-back style in the front with his hand and arranged his face into a serious scowl before pulling the door open.

"Feliciano, thank god you're here," Gilbert said, imitating Ludwig's voice as best he could. "Touching myself and thinking of you just wasn't enough anymore! Take me now!"

"Ve?" Feliciano squeaked, puzzled.

"Brother!" Ludwig cried, blushing as he shoved Gilbert away. "Please ignore my brother, he's ridiculously immature."

"You mean ridiculously kick-ass!" Gilbert laughed raucously as Ludwig threw him a dirty look.

"Oh, I don't mind," Feliciano assured him cheerfully, removing his shoes in the entryway. "I was kind of worried that everyone in Ludwig's family would be really serious but I feel a lot better with Ludwig's brother telling me jokes!"

"Yeah, West," Gilbert said, grinning wickedly. "Feliciano appreciates my awesome."

"Don't encourage him, Feliciano," Ludwig warned. "If you let it go once, he'll think he can get away with it all the time."

Feliciano was too busy giggling and getting his hair ruffled by Gilbert to pay attention. "Since it's West we're talking about, I expected the person he ended up with to be more like a mountain troll, but damn! You're a lot cuter than I expected! I think we're gonna get along just fine."

Ludwig fidgeted uneasily, pretending that he hadn't heard the troll comment and wondering if he should intervene. No, maybe this was good. The point of inviting Feliciano over for dinner with his family tonight was to introduce them and get them on good terms with each other. Gilbert seemed to be getting off on the right foot with him. Ludwig decided to leave them to it and go check on the bread he had baking. The Maultaschen and potato salad had already been made and were sitting in the refrigerator and he expected his father home at any time now. Things were coming together just fine. Hopefully they stayed that way.

"I gotta show you the family photo album, Feli!" Gilbert said excitedly. "There's this totally adorable picture of West as a baby wearing nothing but a pair of fluffy angel wings."

"Ve, really?" Feliciano chirped, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "I wanna see! I wanna see! Ludwig's never shown me his baby pictures before!"

Oops, this situation needed to be handled quickly before it got out of hand.

"There's no such picture!" Ludwig said hurriedly.

"But… but Gilbert said…" Feliciano began, looking crushed.

"Hey West, is that the bread I smell burning?" Gilbert asked coolly.

Ludwig's eyes widened comically and he dashed into the kitchen to check on the bread. Gilbert sniggered at his own craftiness as he motioned for Feliciano to follow him into the study. Feliciano skipped after him, bouncing excitedly on the balls of his feet. Gilbert paused in front of the bookshelf, trying to remember which album contained the picture in question.

"Ah, here we go. Kesesese!"

He pulled a navy blue leather-bound album from amongst the small collection on the shelf and began flipping through the pages, searching for that one special picture. Feliciano peered over his shoulder eagerly.

Meanwhile Ludwig was jogging back to where he had left Gilbert and Feliciano, a sinking feeling that he'd been tricked settling in the pit of his stomach. The bread had still been partially raw when he'd checked on it. He knew he'd fallen into Gilbert's trap when he came back to the front room where he'd last seen the two of them and found it empty.

"Aaaaaw!" Feliciano squealed. "That is sooooo cuuuute~!"

"Right?" Gilbert agreed. "West always had the cutest little baby butt!"

All the color drained right out of Ludwig's face and for a moment he could only stand there, frozen in horror.

"Check it out, right here he's got these two freckles that look like eyes and his butt crack makes a smile!"

"Waaah, you're right! How sweet! I wonder if he still has that!"

Finally Ludwig came to his senses again and charged into the study.

"BROTHER! PUT THAT AWAY!" he implored him desperately.

"Is that the Maultaschen I smell burning?" Gilbert asked with a grin.

Ludwig's face went red with anger and embarrassment as he stomped over and jerked the album out of Gilbert's hands, snapping it closed loudly.

"You promised you'd behave!" he hissed. "_You promised_!"

"Alright West, jeez," Gilbert snorted. "Don't pop a blood vessel. Anyway, Feli's probably going to be seeing your butt soon anyway if you don't screw things up. Who cares if he gets a sneak preview?"

Ludwig was just about to hit him when Feliciano took his hand and squeezed it gently.

"Ve, please don't be mad, Ludwig. It was really sweet!" he said. "Ludwig was such a cute baby, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. It's not like I saw anything besides your butt. Oh, I know! I'll show you _my_ butt. Then we'll be even!"

Ludwig's face reddened again as Feliciano began to undo his belt. He hurriedly pushed Feliciano's hands away from the button on his khakis.

"Th-that won't be necessary!" he said quickly. It wasn't that he had no interest in seeing Feliciano's butt; this just wasn't a good time or place, especially considering that Gilbert was present.

"But we won't complain if you insist," Gilbert added with a cheeky grin.

"Yes," Ludwig blustered. "Yes, we will."

"Ve?"

Luckily the uncomfortable conversation was interrupted by the opening and closing of the garage door which announced the arrival of Mr. Weillschmidt, Gilbert and Ludwig's father. Ludwig silently thanked God for his father's impeccable timing.

"It sounds like my father is home," Ludwig commented. "Come Feliciano; I'll introduce you."

Hastily fixing Feliciano's belt for him, Ludwig placed a hand on the small of his lover's back and guided him away from Gilbert, who was pouting at the interruption, and into the hallway. Mr. Weillschmidt was removing his shoes in the entryway when the boys came to greet him. The older man looked up from his task to meet Feliciano's gaze and his eyes widened slightly in surprise.

"Feliciano, this is my father, Aldric Weillschmidt."

"Hmm… It really is you," Mr. Weillschmidt mumbled, looking Feliciano over.

"N-nice to meet you," Feliciano stammered, instantly becoming nervous under Mr. Weillschmidt's ultra-serious stare. "I'm F-Feliciano V-V-Vargas!"

"You certainly have grown," Mr. Weillschmidt remarked.

"Do you know each other?" Ludwig asked in astonishment.

"Ve? I-I don't think so…"

"His father and I go way back…" Mr. Weillschmidt explained, his cheeks pinking almost imperceptibly. "Haven't seen you since you were this big." He held his hands about a foot and a half apart.

"I didn't know that… Why didn't you mention that you'd met him before?" Ludwig asked.

Mr. Weillschmidt shrugged. "You didn't ask."

"Oh!" Feliciano exclaimed as if suddenly remembering something. "That's right! Dad has a picture of you two together on his bedside table! Veee, I'd completely forgotten!"

Mr. Weillschmidt looked down at the carpet in silence in a way that Ludwig recognized as a show of embarrassment. He couldn't help wondering what kind of relationship their fathers had had, but something told him that if he asked, his question would be pointedly ignored or else answered so vaguely that it wasn't even worth the effort. The quiet that hung between them following that comment was an awkward and slightly uncomfortable one, though Feliciano didn't seem to notice the tension. Finally Ludwig cleared his throat.

"Dinner will be ready shortly. Feliciano, you're…" He hesitated. He'd been about to say that Feliciano was free to relax and chat with Gilbert and their dad, but then he remembered that his brother seemed to have taken the task of thoroughly humiliating Ludwig in front of Feliciano onto himself. It was probably best not to leave them unsupervised together. "Would you mind helping me with the last of the dinner preparations?"

"Ok~!" Feliciano sang.

He followed Ludwig into the kitchen, humming cheerfully.

* * *

As Ludwig had hoped, Feliciano was pleased as punch when he saw what they were having for dinner that night. Maultaschen was a type of German pasta similar to ravioli filled with meat, spinach, bread crumbs and onion and served in a light and healthy vegetable soup. No one could ever say he didn't try to cater to Feliciano's tastes whenever he could. Feliciano sang happily to himself as he sat down between Ludwig and Gilbert.

Ludwig served his lover first and anxiously watched him dig in. He knew how particular Feliciano was when it came to food, and though he was generally fairly confident in his cooking skills, he had to admit that he was a bit nervous. Ludwig breathed a small sigh of relief when Feliciano smiled after taking a bite.

"Wow Ludwig! This is so yummy!" Feliciano sighed. He swallowed his mouthful of food and leaned over to kiss Ludwig on the cheek. "Thank you for introducing me to this tasty new pasta!"

Ludwig cleared his throat and blushed at the display of affection in front of his family members and applied himself to his own dinner, flustered. Gilbert smirked at his little brother's embarrassment, while Mr. Weillschmidt seemed indifferent.

"So I gotta ask, Feliciano-chen," Gilbert began, "what's a cute kid like you see in lame-o, awkward West? 'Cause it kinda seems to me like you're getting the short end of the stick in this relationship."

Mr. Weillschmidt glanced up at Feliciano from his plate as if he too was curious to hear the answer. Ludwig frowned.

"Why is it so hard for you to believe that someone might find me likable?" he groused.

"Look, you're my baby brother, right?" Gilbert pointed out in a tone that was far too kindly and caring to be real. "It's my job to look after you. I'm just trying to make sure Feliciano-chen understands your charm like I do; that's all."

Ludwig snorted doubtfully.

"What I like about Ludwig?" Feliciano asked, tilting his head cutely. "Where do I start? He's sweet and gentle and strong and thoughtful and smart and good-looking and loyal and cutely shy and dependable and…"

"Alright, alright, I get it," Gilbert grumbled. Clearly he'd thought that Feliciano would have a more difficult time responding to the question and was disappointed by the long and effortless reply he'd received. "Jeez. Hearing you tell it, you'd think the sun shined out of his ass or something. If you're so great, West, how come I've never seen all these great qualities of yours, huh?"

"Ve? You mean Ludwig doesn't act like that all the time?" Feliciano inquired.

"Hell no," Gilbert scoffed. "This guy's just a stubborn neat-freak who doesn't know how to lighten up and have fun. He's so not cute."

"I wouldn't have to bother you so much about cleaning up if you didn't leave every single room you occupy looking like a war zone," Ludwig said defensively.

"The awesome me has better things to do than to clean up after myself," Gilbert replied dismissively. "That's best left to peasants like you."

Ludwig let out a long suffering sigh, knowing that this was a pointless argument and that to pursue it any further was a waste of time.

"You used to be so cute," Gilbert sighed, sinking his teeth into his bread. "Why couldn't you have stayed like that?"

"Ludwig _was_ a pretty cute baby," Feliciano agreed with a sunny smile.

Ludwig blushed. "Can we just forget about that utterly humiliating picture?"

"That's just the tip of the iceberg. I can tell you some stories about bitty West that are so cute, they'll give you cavities," Gilbert declared.

"No you can't!" Ludwig said loudly, sensing severe danger sneaking up on him very suddenly. "Such a story doesn't exist! He's exaggerating, Feliciano; just ignore him!"

"Really? I wanna hear!" Feliciano chirped, pretending as though he hadn't heard Ludwig at all.

"Oh man, there are so many adorable ones, I don't even know where to start," Gilbert said with an evil grin in Ludwig's direction.

"No Brother, please," Ludwig begged. "No stories. I'll give you a double serving of dessert, just no stories!"

"What about the one about the Superman cape from when he was three?" Mr. Weillschmidt suggested, contributing to the conversation for the first time.

Gilbert cackled as Ludwig whipped his head around to stare at his father in dismay, his jaw dropping. Was his father seriously betraying him? He had never imagined that he would do something so cruel. Mr. Weillschmidt met his son's gaze impassively for a moment before turning back to his dinner without a word.

"When West was about three, he was totally obsessed with Superman," Gilbert began, grinning so widely that it almost looked like it might hurt his face.

"Brother, please… please stop…" Ludwig moaned and lowered his head into his hands, ears burning, knowing it was useless.

Feliciano was bouncing eagerly in his chair as he nibbled his bread.

"He begged Dad to buy him a Superman cape for like three weeks," Gilbert continued. "Finally Dad gave in and got him one. West put it on and climbed up onto Dad's bed, which was like the highest place he could climb without help, and then he jumped off. Well obviously when he jumped, he just fell right back down on his ass. I'll never forget: West looked around the room with this look of total shock on his face, then rolled over on his stomach, hid his face in his arms and started crying. He really thought he'd be able to fly if he put on that cape! Isn't that cute? He was depressed for like the whole rest of the night."

"Ve~ Poor little Ludwig!" Feliciano squealed, though he was grinning as he hugged Ludwig's arm. "But that's so sweet! I wish I could've seen you in your cape…"

"I think we still have it lying around somewhere," Gilbert smirked. "You guys could play with it later, if you know what I mean."

"Brother!" Ludwig snapped, his cheeks red. "It's bad enough that you told such a humiliating story without adding immature jokes to the mix!"

"Aw, lighten up, West. It was cute. And look, Feli-chen liked it!"

"I loved it!" Feliciano agreed, kissing his blushing boyfriend again. "Tell me another one?"

"No!" Ludwig insisted. "No, one was more than enough. We're dropping this here and finishing our dinner!"

He was lucky that that story hadn't been horribly embarrassing but there was no telling what Gilbert might think of later on.

"Pfft, yeah West, whatever," Gilbert snorted. "Let's see, which one can I tell next…?"

The older brother lapsed into thoughtful silence, taking a spoonful of his potato salad. Ludwig was just starting to hope that Gilbert wouldn't be able to come up with anything when Mr. Weillschmidt piped up again. "There's the one about the time we went to the art museum and Ludwig saw that statue of the nude woman."

A grin spread across Gilbert's face anew. Ludwig wanted to scream.

"I said no! Don't remind him of other stories!" Ludwig cried. "Don't my feelings count for anything in this house?"

"Nope," Gilbert and Mr. Weillschmidt said in unison. Ludwig banged his head against the table.

"When West was eight—" Gilbert began.

"Seven," Mr. Weillschmidt corrected.

"Seven, Dad took us to the city art museum and there was a statue of a naked chick, super realistic and everything. Well, when West saw it, his jaw dropped and his face went red as a cherry. He was so embarrassed that he lifted up the back of Dad's shirt and hid his head under it. Dad hadn't seen the statue yet, so he asks 'What's wrong?' West peeks out from under his shirt real slow and careful, shielding his eyes like this and he's like 'Th-that lady! She… she's got _details_!' He kept his head down and wouldn't look at any other paintings or sculptures for the rest of the trip."

"Tee hee! How cute!" Feliciano giggled. "Ludwig was shy even back then, huh?"

"You don't know the half of it!" Gilbert grinned. "Every time we would watch a movie that had any kind of romance in it, this guy would always make up an excuse to hide his face every single time there was a kissing scene or if they started talking about stuff that was too sappy. He kept that shit up until he was thirteen! And now here he is just five years later in a relationship himself… Let me tell ya bro, I was worried you were going to turn into one of those 'forever alone' lame-wads."

"You're the last person I want to hear that from, Brother!" Ludwig groused, red-faced. "You're the one who's always talking about how 'being alone is way too much fun'!"

"Hey, that's my choice!" Gilbert insisted. "The awesome me could have anyone I wanted anytime I decide I'm tired of being alone!"

Feliciano was so caught up in the adorable imagined image of a tiny three-year-old Ludwig blushing madly, his chubby little face buried in a pillow as a couple kissed on the TV screen that he didn't even notice the mounting tensions between the brothers.

"Does Gilbert have any more stories?" he asked sweetly.

"F-Feliciano!" Ludwig stammered. "Please, don't ask for anymore! The ones he's already told were embarrassing enough but who knows when he'll remember an even worse one?"

"But they're funny!" Feliciano replied with a sunny smile. "Just one more! Pleeease?"

Ludwig shook his head firmly. "Sorry, but I've had enough embarrassment for one night. You'll simply have to use your imagination for the rest."

"Oh, I know! There's that one where my buddy Francis and I took West for a drive just after Francis had gotten his driver's license!"

Ludwig groaned and put his face in his hands while Feliciano slurped down the last of his Maultaschen and absentmindedly served himself another portion, smiling at Gilbert to indicate his interest in the upcoming story.

"So my buddy Francis is two years older than me which made him the first of our group of friends to get his driver's license. We thought it was just the awesomest thing, having him drive us everywhere. Well, West was like ten at the time and he kept hearing me talk about how freaking awesome it was to have a friend who could drive. He asked if we would take him somewhere; you know, so he could hang out with the older guys and pretend he was cool. And we were like 'fine, whatever'. So West gets in Francis's car and we start driving out in the country to where there are all these huge ass hills."

Gilbert's grin widened at the memory and Ludwig had his head bowed over his bowl, trying desperately to pretend like he couldn't hear a word his brother was saying.

"West was a total stick-in-the-mud even then so we decide to play a harmless little joke on him."

"That joke was anything _but_ harmless!" Ludwig snapped, his face already red. "I honestly thought we were all going to die! How is that supposed to be funny?"

"Hey, no one got hurt, right?" Gilbert pointed out. "That's kind of what harmless means."

Ludwig waved that point aside impatiently. "There's such a thing as taking a joke too far! That's something you just never seem to learn!"

"Ve? What happened?" Feliciano asked. "What kind of joke did Gilbert play?"

"So we get up to the top of the hill and Francis is speeding up, speeding up, and West is like 'boo hoo, you're going too fast. What if we have a wreck? I'm a pansy ass cry baby.' And we're going like 120 km per hour down the hill and Francis pretends like he can't put on the brakes. He's screaming at the top of his lungs and stomping his foot next to the break so it looks like he's trying his damnedest to stop the car but can't.

"And West is totally losing his shit in the back seat. He's like crying and screaming and praying like a maniac. Then as we get to the bottom of the hill, Francis finally slows down. West practically rocket launches himself out of the car and throws himself on the ground and refuses to get back in the car.

"We kept trying to tell him it was only a joke and the breaks are fine but he won't listen. We had to call Dad to come and get him because he wouldn't get back in the car with us! Can you believe that?"

"Wow…" Feliciano said in quiet awe. He turned to Ludwig, who was still blushing and bent over his soup, and tilted his head inquisitively as he studied him. "I've never seen Ludwig panic before. I can't even imagine it… I wonder what it would look like."

"It's hilarious," Gilbert assured him. "And then later when we got back to Francis's there was this weird wet spot on the back seat. Neither of us were brave enough to check it out closer, but West probably pissed himself."

"I DID NOT!" Ludwig roared. "DON'T MAKE THINGS UP LIKE THAT!"

"Deny it all you want, West, but you're not fooling me," Gilbert said, taking another bite of his Maultaschen. "I saw how bad you were freaking out back there."

Feliciano looked between the two brothers in silence for a moment, Ludwig who looked torn between wanting to spontaneously combust or punch Gilbert's face in, and Gilbert who was slurping his soup obnoxiously, unconcernedly. Then he glanced across the table at Mr. Weillschmidt who was eating at a slow and steady pace as always, watching Feliciano absentmindedly, a faraway look on his face. Feliciano squirmed in his chair uncomfortably under that deadly serious gaze.

The awkward silence wasn't broken until Ludwig finally got up from the table and began to clear away the empty dishes. As soon as the dishes had been placed in the dishwasher and any leftover food put into containers, Ludwig left the kitchen in stiff reticence. Feliciano watched him go, puzzled, wondering if he had stormed off in a huff or if he planned on returning.

He was just about to go seek him out, when Ludwig reappeared in the kitchen with two slices of a succulent-looking white cake with strawberries in the middle. Ludwig set them on the table rather harder than necessary, one in front of Feliciano and the other in front of his own spot. Then he plunked down in his chair without a word, took a large spoonful and shoved it into his mouth, chewing irritably.

Feliciano, never having been one to be able to resist dessert for long, took a spoonful of his own without asking why only he and Ludwig had been served. He let out a little hum of satisfaction as the light and delicately sweet flavor of quark and strawberries spread over his palate.

"Wow, this quark cake is so yummy!" he sighed. "Did Ludwig make this?"

Ludwig nodded curtly. Mr. Weillschmidt and Gilbert frowned at each other.

"Oi West, quit screwing around!" Gilbert demanded. "Where's ours?"

"You both forfeited your rights to my cake when continued those humiliating stories against my wishes," Ludwig replied stonily. "Consider this your punishment."

"What the hell? How is that fair?" Gilbert whined. "C'mon West, cut the shit and give us some cake! You know we were just messing with you a little! It's not like we were hurting anything!"

"You hurt my pride," Ludwig growled. "And you did it deliberately."

"You said nothing about our portions of dessert being at stake," Mr. Weillschmidt said, his expression as grave as if he had just learned of the impending death of a close friend.

"I'm sorry but when you do something rude or cruel to someone you need to realize that there may be consequences," Ludwig said unyieldingly.

Gilbert gaped at his father in disbelief. Mr. Weillschmidt's face didn't betray quite the level of emotion that his oldest son's did, but there was no mistaking his dismay.

"Fuck this; I'll just find it myself and take some!" Gilbert announced. "There aren't that many places to hide a cake!"

Ludwig made no move to stop Gilbert as he went in search of the dessert.

* * *

A half an hour later, Ludwig and Feliciano were out on the back porch as they headed towards Ludwig's car so that he could take his boyfriend home. Ludwig had in one hand a paper bag containing the rest of the cake (which both Gilbert and Mr. Weillschmidt had failed to locate). He intended to let Feliciano take it home with him so that Gilbert and his father really couldn't have any. As soon as they were in the car, Ludwig leaned back in his seat with a deep sigh, scrubbing his hand over his face.

"What a disaster," he mumbled. "I mean, I suppose I should have expected it to turn out this way, but I just… I wanted to believe that they could behave themselves just once when it mattered."

"I didn't think it was a disaster," Feliciano said softly, putting his hand on Ludwig's and resting his cheek against his broad shoulder. "I had a lot of fun. Ludwig's family was interesting and I got to hear so many cute stories about little Ludwig and the food was really tasty."

Ludwig was silent for a moment. "Tell me honestly, Feliciano: did those stories really not have any negative effect on how you view me?"

Feliciano tilted his head, puzzled. "Ve? Why would they? They were really sweet. I got a chance to see a side of the person I love most in the whole world that I couldn't even have imagined. I'm really happy!"

"But it was a stupid and embarrassing side…" Ludwig pointed out, his cheeks flushing as he averted his eyes.

"But I'm always doing silly and embarrassing things while Ludwig looks so cool and on top of everything. It was kind of nice to be able to see that Ludwig is only human, too. Somehow it made me love you even more than I already did."

Ludwig looked up at his lover in surprise. This honestly wasn't the kind of reaction he had expected. True, he hadn't expected Feliciano to dump him over something so trivial, but he hadn't expected to be faced with such complete and affectionate acceptance. He didn't know how to react to this. It filled his chest with a sort of sweet ache.

Before he could accidentally ruin the moment with clumsy words, Feliciano leaned over and kissed his lips softly. Ludwig's arms curled around Feliciano's smaller frame shyly as the more confident boy deepened the kiss. The blond's fingers, which had slipped into Feliciano's hair, grazed a certain curl ever so lightly. Feliciano hummed with pleasure, his hips meeting the console between the two front seats in his awkward attempt to shift closer to Ludwig without breaking the kiss.

Ludwig touched the base of the curl again unintentionally, not yet having discovered the effect it had on his lover, and felt Feliciano moan into the kiss and nibble his tongue which had slipped into Feliciano's mouth. Feliciano's hips rutted against the stick shift. Thankfully the car hadn't been turned on yet and the only effect it had was to excite the little Italian even more.

Given their current state, both of them were completely unprepared for Ludwig's door to be suddenly jerked open and the overhead light in the car to come on. Ludwig gasped and jerked away from Feliciano, whirling around to face the person who dared interrupt them.

"West, you bastard! That's the cake right there, isn't it?" Gilbert snarled, completely ignoring the fact that he had just walked in on his brother and his boyfriend's hot and heavy make-out session in favor of reaching for the bag containing the leftover cake. "Give it here!"

Ludwig elbowed Gilbert in the ribs hard, sending the older boy reeling back, and hurriedly slammed and locked the door.

"Honestly, Brother must be the most self-centered and tactless person to ever walk the earth," Ludwig grunted, his face still beet-red at the interruption as he tried to smooth his hair back into place from where Feliciano's exploring fingers had mussed it.

"Why don't we continue this at my place?" Feliciano suggested, looking rather hot and bothered himself, though for different reasons than Ludwig. "My dad is away on a business trip and Lovino is at his boyfriend's house so we should have the place to ourselves."

Ludwig cleared his throat nervously, pointedly ignoring Gilbert who was scratching at the window like a crazed animal. "I-I think… that might be for the best."

With that, Ludwig put the car in reverse and pulled away, leaving Gilbert howling with anger in the driveway.

* * *

**A/N:** All of these stories about Ludwig when he was little are based on things my youngest brother has done. Now that I think about it, my brother would have made an outstanding HRE cosplayer if I'd known about the series when he was young enough to pull it off. Damn. Anyway… I kind of feel like I failed a little and this wasn't as funny as I wanted it to be, but hopefully it made someone laugh!


End file.
